Start a new relationship is always scary. The opinions of others and the experience of past relations are pressed on us, and the tips from the Internet are scared by their inconsistency and categoricality. Here are eight popular myths about harmonious relationships.
The chosen one does not like grandfather or mom? You prefer to spend a Friday evening at a nightclub, and a partner in front of the TV? You are a master of sports in gymnastics, and your boyfriend has never played sports, and it seems to you that these problems interfere with your happiness.
In fact, there are no ideal or identical relationships and popular psychologists are not always right in their instructions. Here are eight things that themselves do not interfere with the creation of a harmonious union.
1. You have different interests
It is wonderful if you both are sick for one football team and dream of spending a vacation in a kemetal campaign. However, this is not necessarily.
“Similar interests cannot keep people together. It is more important if partners share values related to money and children, ”says family consultant Chelly Pamphri. -A general hobby is something like jewelry on a cake, and relationships are much more complicated and deeper. “.
2. You and your partner are not like externally
You do not believe in your relationship, despite the ardent love. You are a natural blonde, and a partner is a brunette. You wear long dresses with ruffles, and your beloved is a jacket, you shudder from the word “piercing”, and the guy has an earring in his nose and tattoos throughout the body.
Sexologist from Colombian University in New York Lorel Steinberg believes that it is enough for partners to consider each other attractive. Firstly, appearance can change over the years, and secondly, the appearance does not always reflect the inner world of a person. “Bad Guy” can be kind, and “Princess” to be rude and prudent.
3. You have a different level of education
If you are not bored with each other, the diploma is not important. You may not find common topics for a conversation with Harvard’s graduate, even if you yourself graduated from Oxford.
“You limit yourself very much if you meet exclusively with people of your circle. This only says that you are Snob
, ”says psychologist Antonio Borrello. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates and Mark Tsuckerberg, unfinished higher education.
4. There is no former attraction between you
Everyone dreams that relations remain the same as in the first months of dating. However, over time, sexual desire is reduced. Steam with experience is possible for vivid sensory relationships if both partners are working on creating a romantic atmosphere and invent something new, the psychotherapist Ginny Ingrem says.
5. You often argue
Happy couples are only in fairy tales. Psychotherapist Zach Brittl assures that healthy relationships are impossible without controversy, but harmonious couples know how to agree: “Happy couples often argue, but strive for de -escalation of the conflict and restoration of relations”.
6. Partner does not like to have fun
“Many customers complain about the partner’s reluctance to make life more vivid,” the psychotherapist Bekki Vetstone shares, “and I do not tire of repeating that the partner is not obliged to entertain them”.
7. Your relatives and friends do not like him
Linda Lipshutz, a family therapist, advises not to attach great importance to the opinion of others. If you are happy, it doesn’t matter that a friend considers your lover boring.
8. You have an unstable financial situation
Financial problems and different views on spending and savings undoubtedly interfere with harmonious relations. Moreover, financial stability does not guarantee harmony in relationships.
Psychotherapist Elizabeth Jay Lamwit encountered such a phenomenon: couples who strive for financial stability often lose real relations. Lamwat says that she often heard: “We have completed the house and accumulated my son for college, and now we have nothing to talk about”.